Domestic Abuse & Orders for Protection Attorney in Los Angeles, California
How can you assist someone who is a victim of domestic violence?
How can you assist someone who is a victim of domestic violence?
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in the 40 years that i’ve practiced the
area of domestic violence has changed
tremendously
when i first started practicing
domestic violence was really physical
abuse and nobody really paid much
attention to
things like emotional or verbal abuse or
coercive control and things like that
what frustrated me
initially was that i saw spouses who
were victims going back to their spouses
or partners all the time and i just
couldn’t understand why somebody would
put themselves back in that abuses
abusive and dysfunctional situation
so as time
went on
i understood better from a psychological
and legal perspective the whole thing of
what
it means to be a true victim of domestic
violence and the way i like to help my
clients is i bring in a mental health
professional
who supports what i have told them from
a legal perspective and explains to them
from a psychological point of view
what they’re going through so they
understand that it’s okay to be afraid
it’s okay to feel ambivalent it’s okay
to feel that you still love that spouse
and you in and if especially if you have
children there has to be some future
relationship
but you have to feel protected as well
so i work closely with these clients in
order to
get them through the court process which
is very very difficult because they’re
on the witness stand and they’re
recounting and reliving what happened to
them i’ve seen
many many
clients
and victims of domestic violence break
down
in front of the judge and you could see
it in their face reliving what they went
through
when their spouse
hit them in front of the children or
um called them horrific names in front
of the children however i think that
once they tell their story whether they
win
and and they obtain a restraining order
or they don’t
and that happened yesterday with a
client where she didn’t win i i said to
her
the fact that you stood up to your
spouse and you were strong enough to go
into court and tell your story
that makes you a stronger and a better
person
and i think it will be easier for you to
deal with your
spouse in the future and i think it’ll
be easier for you to go on
with your life and you know that’s how i
want them to feel
empowered
strong and supported
Los Angeles, CA family law attorney Lisa Helfend Meyer shares how she can assist someone who is a victim of domestic violence. She reflects that in her 40 years of practice, the understanding of domestic violence has evolved tremendously. When she first began, domestic violence was primarily viewed as physical abuse, and little attention was given to emotional abuse, verbal abuse, or coercive control. Early in her career, she was often frustrated when victims returned to abusive partners, struggling to understand why someone would re-enter such a harmful situation.
Over time, she developed a deeper understanding of the psychological and legal realities of being a true victim of domestic violence. Her approach emphasizes support and education: she often brings in mental health professionals to work alongside her clients, helping them understand from a psychological perspective what they are experiencing. She reassures them that it is normal to feel fear, ambivalence, or even lingering love for their abusive partner, particularly when children are involved and ongoing interaction is necessary, while still emphasizing the importance of feeling safe and protected.
She works closely with clients to navigate the court process, which can be extremely challenging. Many victims break down on the witness stand as they recount and relive traumatic events, such as being hit or verbally abused in front of their children. She notes that even if a client does not obtain a restraining order or “win” in court, the act of standing up, telling their story, and confronting the situation is empowering. She strives to help clients feel stronger, supported, and better prepared to manage future interactions with their spouse and move forward with their lives.
