courts and the California legislature have made a lot of progress in recent years making sure that uh domestic
violence restraining orders are issued before there’s any physical violence in the relationship.
Courts are issuing restraining orders now for verbal abuse, for threats and coercion, for harassment, for emotional
abuse and coercive control. And I think it’s very important for people to understand that when courts are making
this determination about whether or not to issue a restraining order, they’re going to look to things like text messages, your WhatsApp, your emails,
and your social media. And whereas 20 years ago, a judge was in a very difficult position of having to make a
judgment call on a he said she said basis of who’s telling the truth or not.
Nowadays, those written words, your text messages and your WhatsApps are going to say a lot to a judge about the incidents
that are in question and about the nature of the relationship. So, I think everyone would be wise during a divorce case to think long and hard about anything that you put into writing.
Another trend in the area of domestic violence restraining orders is that judges are very aware that people are
applying for them and using them for strategic reasons to get a leg up in custody, for example. My advice for
anyone out there who is served with a domestic violence restraining order and doesn’t think it was warranted is that you have to wait for your day in court.
This may be frustrating because you may have to wait a month or so for a court hearing to take place. However, you should know that when that court hearing
takes place, the person who applied for the restraining order is going to have to prove to the judge by a prepundonderance of the evidence that an
act of abuse occurred. And you’re going to have an opportunity that day to put on your case and to call witnesses and
to show the judge the emails and the text messages to prove that the domestic violence did not occur. But parties
often are very frustrated and find it very difficult to wait that 30-day time period. And what they need to know is
during that 30-day time period, you’re under a microscope and you need to be on your best behavior, as frustrating as it
period, that can impact whether or not the restraining order is issued as well.