Nashville, TN family law attorney Anne Hamer talks about what can be used against you in a custody battle. She emphasizes that when her clients are navigating a high-conflict divorce, careful communication is essential. High-conflict situations often arise from emotional disputes over children, making it critical to keep all communications both in writing and professional. She advises clients to assume that everything they say or do in the presence of, or directed toward, their spouse could ultimately be reviewed by a judge.

She notes that in many highly adversarial and emotional divorces, spouses record interactions, save every text, and sometimes send messages intended to provoke negative reactions. Modern technology allows for the rapid exchange of texts and emails, often without full consideration of tone or word choice. She points out that even well-meaning messages can appear harsh or unkind if read by someone else.

To help clients communicate appropriately, she recommends tools that analyze the tone and content of messages and suggest more constructive ways to convey them. She stresses that texting, emailing, and even photos are never private in these cases—anything could be reviewed by a court. She advises clients to act as if every message or image could be seen by a judge—or even their grandmother—and to govern themselves accordingly, ensuring that all communication remains respectful and measured.