Child Custody and Visitation Attorney in New York, New York

What advice do you have on how to not lose custody?

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so the way that someone actually needs
to comport themselves during a custody
case is so important so that they don’t
lose custody look it’s really stressful
as you’re going through a custody case
these are your children they are the
most important human beings in your life
particularly at the point as you’re
going through divorce so I would say
that the most important thing that you
need to remember is don’t disparage the
other parent you have to be able to
foster a relationship with the other
parent you have to be able to co-parent
and that’s so difficult for people as
they’re going through their divorce
because there’s so much pent up
sometimes rage sometimes there’s been
domestic violence you know at times
there are all of these things going on
financial issues somebody may be
shutting you out of the finances or
someone may have control of the finances
you may find this process so frustrating
but the bottom line is you are still
parents of children and your children
actually are half of both of you and
it’s really important to keep this in
mind now that may not mean that you’re
going to have an equal custody parenting
Arrangement it may not mean that you’re
going to both share joint legal custody
perhaps someone will need to have final
decision making perhaps there needs to
be some sort of a tiebreaking mechanism
but the most important thing about how
not to lose custody is that you learn to
foster a relationship ship with the
other parent that you learn that this
parent is your child’s parent and it is
so important that they be in your
child’s life and if you can do that if
you can encourage your children to have
a relationship with the other parent
that is going to be the the pivotal
factor of how not to lose custody I
would say the other things are be
careful about how you speak about the
other parent be careful when you’re
speaking about the other parent to the
children’s providers so for example
doctors and teachers guidance counselors
say something nice about the other
parent there’s a reason that you and the
other parent decided to have children
together so it’s important that you say
nice things about the other parent you
can find something always that you can
think of about the other parent that is
a positive thing and so don’t disparage
the other parent don’t disparage the
other parent to neighbors and community
and the children’s friends parents it’s
all going to come around and your
children will be hearing these things
also be careful about social media don’t
post on social media as you’re going
through this process don’t post about
your your your co-parent or your spouse
or your children’s parent don’t do it
it’s not going to be helpful don’t post
about your child no one needs to be
doing that during actually any action
even after you’re going through this be
cautious about social media because your
children will be looking at that social
media at some point even even if they’re
young now that social media will be
something that they could look at later

New York, NY family law attorney Lisa Zeiderman talks about how to not lose custody. She highlights that conduct during a custody case is critical to preserving parental rights. The process is inherently stressful, as children are the central concern, but maintaining composure and professionalism is essential. One of the most important principles is to avoid disparaging the other parent. Fostering a cooperative relationship and demonstrating the ability to co-parent effectively are pivotal in the court’s evaluation.

Even in cases involving domestic conflict, financial disputes, or strong emotions, she advises keeping the focus on the children, who have a right to maintain a relationship with both parents. This does not necessarily guarantee equal custody or joint legal decision-making, but it underscores the importance of showing that both parents are capable of supporting the child’s well-being.

She also stresses careful communication with children’s providers—such as teachers, doctors, and guidance counselors—by highlighting positive attributes of the other parent. Similarly, interactions within the community and with neighbors should remain respectful, as negative comments can indirectly impact the child.

Social media requires particular caution. Posting about the co-parent or child during or after the custody process can be harmful, as children may later access content that reflects poorly on a parent or the co-parenting relationship. Overall, demonstrating respect, cooperation, and a focus on the child’s best interests is central to maintaining custody rights.

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