so the one piece of advice that I am
always giving my clients is be
reasonable and once again that comes
down on the parallel tracks of you have
to be reasonable for professional
purpose and you have to be reasonable
for personal purpose you have to be
reasonable professionally because
strategically that is the best approach
when you appear before a judge and the
judge wants to know what your position
is on say parenting time or support or
the distribution of assets it is so
important that the judge hear you take a
reasonable position on that issue
because how you present on one issue is
how the court is going to judge you as a
litigant overall and you always want the
judge to have that presumption of
reasonableness that judge knows when you
say something when something comes out
of your mouth and you’re asking for
something reasonable the judge will
presume that what you’re doing is the
right thing you know I’ve been
practicing for 25 years and this has
been my mantra for 25 years and I’m able
to tell my clients that if they retain
me when I stand up before a judge a
judge is going to presume that I’m
asking for something reasonable a judge
is going to presume that I’m looking for
something that’s in the best interest of
children that’s what I’ve created my
career on this is why when I walk into a
courtroom a judge is going to be
inclined to Grant what I’m asking for on
behalf of a client because the judge
knows for 25 years I have not strayed
from that principle of ask for what’s
reasonable so that gives my client the
same presumption of acceptance by a
court and that’s so important going into
the litigation
process but while that might be the best
strategic approach in being reasonable
it’s also the best personal approach
because I’m in your life now during your
divorce when I leave the person in your
life is going to be your former spouse
or your former partner or the parent of
your child and you’re going to have
years dealing with that person after I’m
in your life so if in the process of the
dissolution of the marriage or the D
dissolution of the
partnership you are reasonable you’re
creating a reasonable basis for
co-parenting
a reasonable basis for a post divorce
relationship and if you can start
developing that
Foundation during the divorce process
during the dissolution process you are
in such a better place personally to
proceed in a fair and reasonable and
stable way post divorce and post
dissolution then you would have been if
you were unreasonable and you turn the
litigation process into a process where
the relationship phrase more as opposed
to finding a place where you can proceed
forward into the future in a far better
and more stable place in the
relationship I would have to say more my
mentor just as I would have to say my
hero um is my father my father is a
lawyer and when I was 8 years old my
mother asked me at my birthday blowing
at the candles what do you want to be
when you grow up and I said I want to be
a lawyer just like that and I never
strayed very far from that commitment to
Growing Up and being like my father but
the way he served as a mentor for me in
this practice um and he practices real
estate law not family law but throughout
my years in college and in law school he
always advised me to focus on my writing
and said make sure you improve your
writing skills make sure you focus on
your writing skills because that’s what
makes a good lawyer and I really didn’t
understand that before I started
practicing because you think from the
world of Law and Order and every other
lawyer show you’ve ever watched the
lawyering takes place in the courthouse
it’s all about standing up and giving
that breathtaking performance and that’s
what wins your case but when you start
practicing you learn that 90% of the
lawyering are the written submissions
that go to the court and that the judge
reads before you ever stand up and give
your performance and most of the time
the Court’s opinion is going to be built
on those written summations so all that
time that my father told me work on your
writing skills hone your writing skills
learn how to create a story with your
writing so that the judge is pulled into
your narrative before you ever stand up
and utter a word that’s what formed my
practice so he was my Mentor my
inspiration um my hero and my mentor in
this practice