the first thing we need to do is just

listen to them and find out what they

want

and find out what their goals are and

you know see how we can make sure they

can exit the relationship safely so

sometimes that means clients go into a

shelter sometimes they leave the state

sometimes they’re

they need an order for protection and

that’s that’s often the first thing we

think of

but i have had plenty of clients that

thought that didn’t wouldn’t make them

safe enough and so

the other approaches were to just create

some distance create a safe space

for them to to get the divorce resolved

sometimes they want to

have a voice in in the mediation process

and i remember in the old days we said

well if you’re a domestic abuse victim

you’re not in a position to mediate

but you know we’re taking power away

from people by telling them you can’t

use this very effective tool at

resolving your dispute

so for those cases you know we we talk

and and

communicate and kind of coach the

clients

to make sure they’re able to you know

take take a position you know sometimes

we do mediation in separate rooms and

that’s that is is often a a way of kind

of keeping

a person safe but you know getting a

case resolved outside of court as

opposed to having a domestic abuse

victim on the stand having to face that

person that’s been so so damaging to

them is is not the place to get things

resolved

so um you know i think the big thing is

listen to the person identify their

goals and figure out the best safest way

to get them there